Wipeout

Did you see where Wipeout was filming in our local Target? Oh, wait. That wasn't Wipeout. That was me and the kiddos yesterday.

It all started when I told G he was going to wear underwear. A year ago I thought G was a genius child when he potty trained himself. But it only lasted for 2 weeks, so we've been potty training ever since. I've tried a million things, so this was just one more attempt at getting him to commit to potty training. I decided to take the plunge and let him wear underwear to Target. BIG MISTAKE.

While we were in the checkout line, I almost completely wiped out on the floor. I looked down, and the floor was covered in water (or so I thought). As I was trying to get the attention of an employee to inform them of the mess, G jumped up from the back of the cart yelling, "I'm wet!" Wet was an understatement. He was drenched.

Completely flustered, I got out of line and went to the bathroom. LP was screaming, and I realized she had turned around in the basket and gotten her foot stuck between the bars. "Oh great, they're going to have to cut these bars off!" My mind was racing, but I slowly worked her foot out. I got both kids out of the cart and started thinking about my next steps. I had no idea how to hold LP and help G go to the bathroom and change clothes, so I strapped LP onto the changing table and walked back and forth between the stall and changing table. A grandmother who was very concerned about LP offered to help. I of course did not refuse. They do have a sign in there that says, "Do not leave child unattended" but they forgot to put up a sign instructing you on how attend to your baby and your potty training child. I had no idea what I was doing. But, somehow I helped G go to the bathroom, put a diaper on (found out later it was LP's diaper), and changed his shorts. It was such a fiasco. I mean seriously, how are you supposed to hold on to a baby and help a kid go to the bathroom who can't undress himself? Any advice would be welcomed.

Since G was obviously not ready to give up diapers, I went back to the baby aisle to get some more. As I got back in line, a lady next to me told the cashier how there was water all over the floor and that her son had just fallen in it. "I'm just glad it was him and not a old person, " she said. I was pretty much freaking out inside. I could have gotten someone hurt AND there was a kid next to me who was covered in G's urine.

But what is the mom etiquette in a situation like that? I sure wasn't going to inform the kid that he had a 2 year old's pee all over him. Now that would have been a scene. For once I was thankful that G drinks a million cups of water a day. My well hydrated child fooled everyone into thinking there was just water on the floor.

And so we left the scene of Wipeout and headed home. I had one more stop planned, but I couldn't handle any more outings with my kids for the day. I needed to be home. I needed them to take naps. I needed to figure out an exit plan if this ever happened again. Potty training is going to be the death of me.