2 Blondes and a Ginger

2 Blondes and a Ginger

Thursday, November 12, 2009

To Shave or Not to Shave

To shave or not to shave. Almost every woman faces this dilemma in the shower. You have to think about how much time you have, what you're wearing for the day, and if going one more day without shaving will be painful when your clothes rub against you legs. It's a serious decision, and you need to make the right one...or there will be consequences

Wednesday was one of those should I shave or not shave days. I got in the shower, and after a couple of minutes my attention was drawn to the upper corner of the shower curtain. There lay the mother of all cockroaches. It was the longest, fattest cockroach I had ever seen, and I was terribly frightened. You are suppose to find bugs like this in the rain forests in South America, not in a small bathroom in the Middle of Tennessee! I'm not a fan of bugs, but when I'm with a group of girls, I don't mind stepping up to the plate to kill the little critters. Now, if Jeff is around, I am suddenly terrified of bugs. I don't know what it is, but when Jeff is present, I loose the ability to fight them. I feel helpless and would much rather call on him to rescue me.

Well, Jeff wasn't around, but I still couldn't get the courage to fight the gigantic creature. It was stuck in between the shower liner and the shower curtain, so killing the bug wouldn't be an easy feat. I knew I had to finish my shower. I huddled in the far corner of the shower with one eye constantly on the bug. I decided on the shampoo bottle as a weapon should the roach come my direction. Distracted, I tried to put the conditioner in my hair before the shampoo. Oh, and the decision about whether to shave or not shave, it came easy. I wasn't going to stay a second longer in that shower than I had to. I jumped out of the shower, ran out of the bathroom, and shut the door behind me. I really don't think that a shut door is going to keep a roach away, but it eased my mind. I immediately called Jeff to see if he was close to the house so that he could come kill the bug. I felt a little silly, but as I said, this bug was HUGE! He couldn't come. I would have to face the Honey I Shrunk The Kids like creature by myself.

I finally got the courage to battle the roach. I went into the bathroom with bug spray in hand only to find that the bug was gone. Ahhhh....that was even worse. Every corner I turned, ever step I took, I never knew where the bug was going to be. I thought about just not going to the bathroom for the day. What if it was hiding in the toilet? I could run down the street, buy a pack of gum, and use the Shell Station's bathroom every time I needed to go. Thankfully, I was gone most of the day, but when I did have to go to the bathroom, I went in with vigilant eyes and a can of Raid.

The day gave me time to contemplate this larger than life creature. If this roach was so big, then what did this roach's mother look like? And was this roach's mother in my house as well? The only consolation I could provide myself was dwelling on the fact that this must have been the original roach God created and thus this roach did not have a mother or a grandmother or a great grandmother.

Finally, Jeff came home for the day, and he too had an encounter with the roach. I was glad he got to see it for himself because for some reason he thinks I'm prone to exaggeration. He didn't give me details on the death of the roach, but I imagine that Jeff was a little more frightened than he let on. Thank goodness I had left the can of Raid in the bathroom so that the fight was short and sweet. Jeff was a hero, I was relieved, and the bug, well, it was dead.

Now I hesitated on whether to tell this story. I don't want anyone to be afraid to come to my house. I have a feeling that almost all of you have had some kind of critter in your house that you're a little embarrassed by, so please don't judge. And by the way, the exterminators were immediately called and they have thoroughly sprayed our house. So long cockroaches. I hope I never never never see you again, especially in the shower.


Jennifer Folkner said...

Great story, Jen, I'm glad you told it. I saw that cockroach's cousin on the outside of my window yesterday and screamed loud enough that I was sure they heard me in other parts of the building. I could not believe how big the creature was. Cockroaches are nasty in general and the big ones are significantly worse. I hope you don't see any of his family members.

Stephanie said...

Haha, we have all been there. I am the same way- since kids I have become a he-woman of a bug killer- when it somes to a spider attacking my kids and I'm the only one there to save them- not a hair of hesitation, but oooh, roaches and such- those crunchy kind-- I shutter at just the thought. I can so FEEL that feeling you had every time you went to the bathroom. I'm glad Jeff got to be your hero adn it wasn't waiting for you ion the toilet =)