2 Blondes and a Ginger

2 Blondes and a Ginger

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Crazy Mom Syndrome

I felt like a crazy mom yesterday. You know what I'm talking about. One of those moms whose hair is disheveled. Her outfit has been quickly thrown together. You can tell she is really worn out, she can't handle her kids.....you know, a crazy mom.

Yesterday I planned out some meals for the week and decided to go to the grocery store. When I go to the store, I always take Graham in his car seat and set it down in the grocery basket. It usually works pretty well when Jeff and I are shopping together, but when I'm by myself, the clumsiness is magnified, and I seem to run into things like the security beeper bars. I have no idea what you call them, and I'm sure they have some official name, but you know what I mean, right? One time I couldn't see in front of me because the car seat was sitting up high, and I kept ramming the grocery basket into the security bars at the Kroger entrance. I definitely got some stares, and I think I've since noticed a sign on the security bars warning you of their presence. Hello! If I could have seen the security bars, I wouldn't have run into them! Anyway, back to yesterday. I decided that since Graham is what you call a "supported sitter" and since I am afraid he is going to fall out of the car seat when I run into things, I would try to put him directly in the basket. He can sit briefly on his own and seems to do okay in a high chair, so I thought yesterday was the day to graduate to the big boy seat at the grocery store. Yeah....I have had to do some rethinking! It was fine until Graham wanted to climb out of the grocery basket. He would start leaning over....slowly he would slide. I would catch him, put him upright, and then he would start leaning over again. Needless to say, I had to keep my hand on him the entire time. It takes some serious skills to keep one hand on the baby, one hand on the basket, and find a way to park the basket where you are only an arm's length from whatever you need, because when you reach for something, you've still got to have that one hand on a baby. Maybe if I had played my brother more often in Mario Cart, this would have come easier! You just try doing this at the milk fridge where you add in a whole new dynamic of having to steer, open a fridge door, grab the milk and hold on to your baby. After about an hour in the store, I decided I was finished. Graham was eating my grocery list anyway, so I really didn't know what else I needed. I thought about abandoning the basket and making a break for the door, but I really needed some chicken for dinner! So I got geared up to go through the checkout line. Again, it became quite difficult to reach in the basket and keep a hand on Graham. The sweet lady behind me gave me a pity smile and asked if she could help. "I think I've got it," I replied while thinking to myself, "Yeah, I've got the crazy mom syndrome." I explained to her that it was my first time to try to put him in the basket and that I obviously should have waited. "Yeah, he's probably too young," was her reply. I wish she had been out in the parking lot to tell me this before I had gone in the store. The adventure, however, was almost over. Who would have thought I would need both hands to sign the receipt? After a few attempts, I had to ask the cashier to hold down the receipt so it would stop curling up. Finally, I got my groceries loaded in the car and vowed to not try putting Graham in the big boy seat until he is the most proficient sitter upper you have ever seen.

And just in case you were wondering, I did spend an hour in the store, and I didn't come away with half of what we needed. I got a lemon to make hummus with, but I neglected to get the tahini or the secret ingredient- chickpeas. I got bread to make meatball subs, but I failed to get the meatballs. Where do you find those things anyway? I've never bought them before. Those are just a few things that didn't make their way to my basket during a very stressful visit to Kroger! Yep, I was a crazy mom yesterday, and I only have one kid! What am I going to do if I have any more children? You better starting praying that God will give me a third arm!


Debbie said...

you are a good writer. this is very funny. Suggestion: wait until Jeff is home and grocery shop alone. It will almost be like a treat!

natalie vaughan said...

jen...you are a GREAT writer, but you are even a GREATER MOM!!!!! love you!!!

lydia said...

haha! i love it! this is hilarious!!! i can't totally picture it,..not only with you, but also something that i'd do! hahaa! ;) glad you survived it though and let me know if you ever get those chickpeas and make hummus if you do, post the recipe...i want to make that sometime soon!!